This week, inspired by a phrase in the January 19, 2015 issue of The New Yorker magazine, members of the writing circles compiled this collective list of things we believe are worth knowing
laugh at yourself
know how to: sing, bake, cook, dance, hammer a nail, tie a scarf, forgive, love, be spontaneous, be lost
learn the names of flowers and learn to recognize birds by sight and sound
imagine your own reality
develop compassion by seeing yourself in someone else's situation
accept fear and understand it
hydrangeas do not like fertilizer
put your car in park before you get out of it
decide how your last days should be spent — fighting to survive or enjoying what is — and it's that last thing that takes some pondering
if you can't find what you're looking for after visiting two stores, give up
use less laundry detergent
you don't have to finish every book you start
don't rush
don't take yourself too seriously
animals are people too
if you want to fly above it all, lighten up
your body is your castle
colors can change your mood
music is a universal language of the soul
scent transports you
buck up, suit up, show up
if you wear black-on-black all the time you never have to worry about trying to match your clothes
petting an animal for as long as they will allow is a source of great comfort
when you wake up in the morning, smile
always say Please and Thank You
don't hesitate to ask questions
when in doubt, throw it out
if you want to remember something write it down
old friends are sometimes not the best friends, since we change as we get older, and sometimes not for the better
listening to the sound of the ocean surf as it hits the shore is a wonderful way to drift off to sleep
many cliches are true
comfortable shoes are worth their cost
it's fun to paint your toenails
colors have feelings too
take a minute to set your intention for the day
take vitamin D in winter
love what it is you are doing
try to say something nice to people
see the world like a child sees it — filled with things that are new and miraculous
if you can't — don't
say "I'm sorry" when you mean it
stay with one thing at a time
share with others
find joy, even on a dreary winter's day
know how to: jump-start a car, reset your modem, change the flat tire on your bike, make a photo book
remember — there's always another day
sun, sand, and salt water will revive your spirit
tears are healthy
coffee is one of the major food groups
stand up for yourself
50 is the new 30
divorce is not death
know when to finish eating
medical marijuana use is rising with octogenarians
the most wonderful octopus salads can be found in Italy, Costa Rica, and Antigua
keep a journal so you can read it years later and remember things
know how to: refill a pen's ink cartridge, thread a sewing machine, prune lilacs, navigate by the stars, talk to a cat
recognize when "knowing" really wants to become "no-ing"
make sure there is always plenty of gas in the car at all times
it is always possible that an estranged sibling will eventually become likable again
know how to: dance the Cajun Two-Step, make cheese, forgive yourself, parallel park
learn the secret codes embedded in the lyrics of "Negro Spirituals" (slaves' freedom songs)
recognize and nurture your own inner flame
practice using your half smile, which is like an inner secret
remember that spring is on its way even though January is not yet over
discover the location of fragrant gardens near your home
know when to ask for help and from whom
be prepared to freak out sometimes as you birthday approaches but then learn to be okay with your new age and feel grateful to have achieved it
don't get too attached to your thoughts
be patient — everyone has a story to share
remember: long underwear in the winter in the northeast
trust your own thinking
know how to: arrange your arms and legs for sound sleep, calculate using your brain, empty a rain barrel, co-exist with skunks, listen to the message of fog horns
never try to change another person's point of view because you can't
pray for peace, give thanks, welcome change
too much is never enough
know how to: put in a zipper, console your mother, listen to flowers, read the tide, drive a vehicle with a stick shift, find north, south, east, west without a compass
first comes the panic, but the panic of panicking is what paralyses
time is over-rated
first impressions are important but not always accurate
if the hairs on the back of your neck are raised: stop, look, and listen
strength goes far beyond muscle, sinew, and bone
there are perforated spots on the short, square-shaped ends of a tin foil box; if you push them in, the cardboard makes a spindle to secure the tube of foil and keep it from falling out of the box
if you balance a wooden spoon across a pot filled with cooking spaghetti, and it starts to boil up, the wood reacts with the bubbles and helps keep the from boiling over
love does not conquer all
grandma's apple pie really is the best
a double rainbow is a gift
chicken soup cures everything
the ocean has no memory
a splinter is worth the barefoot walk on the boardwalk
Wegmans coffee bar has a happy hour at 2 p.m. and all coffee drinks are half price
there has been a bobcat photographed just behind my son's school, around lots of houses — such magic, so long unseen right around us
appliances always break just before a holiday
don't leave the coffee pot handle close to the oven's vent
become more methodical as you age
learn how to make a white sauce because you can always gussie up a bland chicken dish or mediocre veg with a little white sauce and some cheese thrown in
when something is scary or off-putting or annoying, step forward instead of backward, arms open wide
sometimes it is all about you after all
it is okay to have one squirrel at the bird feeder
it is hard not to think about anything
know how to: help a cow have a calf, love your friends without hating everyone else, make pumpkin muffins and butternut squash soup
know how to consult an ephemeris, the I Ching, the tarot
know how to run a farm — up in the morning with the day before you and you'll vaccinate calves if it rains and you'll bale hay if it does not
you can start learning a Cambodian instrument even late in life
being nobody is harder than you might think
embrace uncertainty
you're never too busy to pause and take 3 slow deep breaths
write with colored ink
from time to time shake it up a little: write with your non-dominant hand, eat something you've never tasted before, get on a bus without knowing where it's headed, skip instead of walk, strike up a conversation with a stranger, etc.
be prepared to move on (physically, emotionally, psychologically, spiritually) when the time is right
trust your instincts
honor your ancestors
take a break from whatever you are doing and read a poem
get up nice and close to your reflection in the mirror and say something encouraging like "hello darling" or "I love you" (you might even want to kiss yourself, leaving a lip-print on the mirror that will last for days)
Thank you to these contributors:
Barbara Cartwright
Barbara Kane Lewis
Carol Mae Whitlow
Gabrielle Vehar
Grace Celeste
Gretchen Hermann
Jackie Mei
Linda Keeler
Linda Lavine
Margaret Dennis
Martha Blue Waters
Nancy Gabriel
Nancy Osborn
Priscilla Walker
Rainbow Crow
Rob Sullivan
Stacey Murphy
Stacey Payette
Sue Norvell
Sue Perlgut
Susan Lesser
Tina Wright
Xin Li
Zee Zahava
